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Just One Promise

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I awoke early to a soft light
peering in my window,
with the realization that
the next day had come
and we had not yet overcome
this uneasy rhythm.
A small voice whispered
“perhaps we never would”.

I hushed it and said

“not before 10 am and coffee”,
nothing this empty please,
but the damage had been done.
I found no rest from the
wicked whisper, and the day
just kept growing lighter as i
drifted in and out of dreams.

Your face, someone else’s voice,
reassuring me that at
that same moment, you were
dreaming of my face,
and smiling in your sleep.

In this dream i took you,                                                                                                                                                                                      ran my big strong hands
up and down your body,
lingering on places you adored,
just because they were yours.

My hand, your thigh.
My mouth, your lower back.
My breath, your belly.
We made love forever.
I know, there is no such thing as forever,
because i woke up, sweaty and wet.
You, i knew, were still
under covers asleep.
I wondered if you were
dreaming of me,craving me.
It was all i wanted, i thought.

Love me, love me like you
have never loved before,
until it burns your skin,
makes your mouth water,
until it keeps you up, fills your dreams.
I have woven a poem or two to this effect.
Whispered wanting words to the darkness,
broken by flickering flame.

My voice, your name.
But you seem to have built
a labyrinth of walls
at least as strong as i.
My hands bleed from the
slow demolition as i climb,
and pull one brick down at a time.
If you are hearing this right
now you are thinking,
“Jesus Dave, what more do you want?”
You should know the answer to that.
I only want everything.
I want my cake,
and i want you to eat it.
I want the kind of love
that makes us hungry.
I want to stay up all night
with you, until we’re 92,
laughing as we greet another sunrise,
because we can’t stop staring
into each others eyes.

When we die, i want there
to be enough mystery left
between us that we seek
each other out in the afterlife.
I want to believe in the afterlife,
and sometimes the truth is painful.

Maybe there is no God,
maybe we aren’t meant to be,
but i want you to believe in me.
I want you to give in, i want us to be free.
That, by the way, was the reason
i could not call you,
because i too am scared.
Scared that you could walk
away at any moment,
or that i will, if only to beat you to it.

Then we will never know,
but we will always wonder.

I know we both have
trouble making promises,
but how about just one?

Promise me you wont give up on us,
unless a time comes that we must,
when there is nothing left to dream about.


Written by erika

2010/05/16 at 1:54 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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